New beginnings
Hi everyone! I know I’ve been away for quite some time. I have been truly enjoying life, being present, focusing on what truly makes me happy, growing closer to the Lord, and staying grounded with family. I am happy to be back blogging, for it is truly a passion that does make me happy. It allows me to be honest and authentic without judgment and welcome a like-minded community into this space.
The reason I take breaks sometimes from blogging can vary simply from lacking inspiration and feeling like I’m repeating myself on some topics to allowing myself to honestly live presently and accept and love who I am! I don’t always have the answers; sometimes, I speak before I think. My words can be malicious or interpreted as rude, but that is because I am forever growing, learning, and experiencing life as it comes to me. I always want to make sure I am presenting the best version of myself to my audience, or at least close to that, without forcing my personality on anyone, but received warmly, like a delicious cinnamon doughnut accompanied with a crisp apple honey tea. I prefer coffee, but let’s stick with tea for this imagery.
Life has been great! I’m pursuing some certifications through the Academy of Sports Medicine for my future as a Pilates instructor! I plan to be done by December. I chose Pilates, one of my passion side hustles, due to my ever-persistent love for wellness and fitness. Everyone, even if we may not admit it, loves to feel and look out best, whether for ourselves, friends, family, exes, future partners, etc. The health, fitness, and beauty community aren’t going anywhere anytime soon, that’s for sure. There is beauty in growing physically and mentally stronger and admiring your body and the strength it carries for you throughout your lives. Not only during exercises but when we are resting, when we are engaging in leisure activities, when we are mourning, when we are celebrating, when we are gaining weight, when we are losing weight, when we are maintaining weight, handling stress, and relieving stress. Our bodies are truly incredible!
It’s vital to ensure our bodies are functioning at the best of their abilities, and if not. What could one do to ensure we give it our all and put our best foot forward? Pilates is that outlet for me, where my mind, body, and spirit can release all of the stress from my day! Where certain conversations no longer matter, where meetings and emails aren’t the center of my universe or focus. Pilates allows me to focus on my happiness, admire the strength of my body and my stamina, and connect with other fellow Pilates hotties who are just as passionate about fitness as I am. When I am in class, time truly has no construct. That is how you know; it is a passion of mine and yours. When it truly feels limitless and continuous flowing of happiness. I plan to get certified, if not by December, then by January, so I may find a home studio to begin instructing part-time. Once I start teaching, I know it’ll be exciting, different, and new, but exhilarating! My instructors always encourage me greatly; whether it’s serious conversations, silly jokes, or true words of encouragement, they are my community. I want that for myself. I want to be a community for other young girls and women passionate about elevating their lives.
Whether focusing on mental and physical health, fitness, fashion, corporate networking, growing closer to God through community bible chats, or just for fun sports talk, I want to be her! We mustn’t feel alone, that we are given a road map of what to expect as we begin taking new paths in our lives post-high school, undergrad, and graduate school. I love community, and no matter how well you believe you know yourself, have great friends, or are already connected in a small group. It can’t hurt to have more; it’s always best to have multiple sources versus only 2 to 3. Not all of my communities are similar to each other. Some have different topics, to which they speak better regarding dating and single living in your 20s, whereas others may excel at speaking over scripture and creating bible groups and chats from it; others may have tips and tricks regarding the latest health and wellness updates, fitness trends, etc. The list goes on and on. I’m trying to say that it’s always best to have inclusion and variety. Not every day I wake up. I want to listen to instrumental Christian hymns. Sometimes, it can be quite the opposite, but that doesn’t make me less than who I am or who my community is. That’s the importance of always allowing yourself grace. Grace for change, evolving, moving forward, and welcoming new changes and chapters in your life. Grace to say goodbye to the old times and hello to risks and chances!
Entering my risk-taking era-
A couple of weeks ago, I felt this new wave of energy cover me! This wave of energy told me, “Morgan, everything will be just fine!” “You’re ready to step into new chapters of your life, and you are finally, for once and for all, for the zillionth time, no longer looking back but choosing to push forward, rise, and achieve your dreams. Even when you think things are tough, overwhelming, or confusing. You are stronger, wiser, better, and made for these moments, you got this!”
I will always tell myself, “Morgan, you got this girl. Even when I can’t understand or think where to start, I will figure it out.” Can I be honest? I have often begged, pleaded, prayed, and cried out to God to bless me with what I’m asking him/ presenting to him. Before I receive backlash for how I just typed that sentence, please give me grace, for I know we should never beg, plead, or argue with God. Instead, we should lovingly converse with him, for he is our father, but because I am human and sometimes impatient. But that doesn’t mean I am less than, nor is he ignoring me.
Seasons are complicated, I believe. Sometimes, we think that we’re ready to move on and for those chapters to end and close, when in reality, we are continuously peeking back in the rearview to remind ourselves of once upon a time of a past life we are no longer living, or is no longer serving us. Did you know this is the first time in months that I have not continuously thought or reminded myself of who I was during the most chaotic storms of my life, 2021-2023?! I honestly don’t even remember the details of everything, and I don’t want to! I lived it in real-time, so why would I want to go back? I think not, and we will not be doing that!
The person I have become, who I am, and continuously am becoming, is better off without ever revisiting those memories in detail again. It’s not because I think I am better or demure; I will always give that version of Morgan her props and kudos. That version of me was robust, resilient, and persistent. But she also experienced a lot of chaos, confusion, depression, eating disorders, and lack of faith. She was lost and scared and needed healing. I am so blessed and thankful that I no longer relate to those versions of myself. In the small seconds I think of those behaviors, I feel like weights on my chest. I have released those versions to the past and into the wind; she’s no longer part of my new beginnings.
Here’s the thing. As we continuously walk forward, we cannot be old trash or baggage. At some point, it must be cut loose, or you’re fighting a never-ending battle, revisiting your past, and never fully moving on and ready to begin with a clean slate. Well, my love, I have a confession to make. I am ready! I am strong, confident, unshakeable, determined, focused, and realigned for what I desire as my future! I am prepared for the hard work to finally pay off, reap the benefits, and courageously and confidently step into my life’s new seasons and chapters. Not because I think it’s time but because it is time. I am confidently disowning those pasts and stepping happily into my new beginnings and what’s to accompany them!
I’ve seen how the previous stories ended, and I am ready for better beginnings and more enormous opportunities to allow my seasons to grow.
The green viper-
Last week, I was experiencing these visions. As a yogi and deeply connected individual to energies around me, having visions during meditations or astro-projecting is not new. Although I haven’t had a vision in a while, it was exciting to interpret her meaning. The consistency of these visions was a light green viper in multiple settings, both physically and in my dreams. Sometimes, this viper would greet me on a trail; another time, swim towards me and casually along a tree limb. I was not scared when I received these visions, but I was intrigued, excited, and curious. I just had to know what these new visions meant for me and my life!
As I read about these visions, I noticed that the common trend suggested new beginnings, good fortune, shedding old skin, and beginning a new life. We can only take things on online articles with a grain of salt. However, these felt relatable and true to my recent thoughts and feelings. This little green viper provided hope to me again. But, not only hope, but encouragement to speak up more, to be honest, to cut off my dead ends, re-plant my intentions, and this time properly bloom into these new chapters and seasons God is bringing me into. There was this sermon my pastor mentioned regarding seasons and blooming, and he mentioned. It’s important to always remain patient, humble, graceful, and faithful. Because sometimes, during our seasons, what we think is abundant can be fruitless. He mentioned the importance of always remaining graceful and humble and never losing faith or strength in your present state. And that is very important and true. I can’t tell you how often I expected various outcomes compared to what I received, but that’s because I wasn’t ready yet to release and move on with my life. Now I am.
You can’t miss what you never had-
Let’s talk romance. Ahh, yes, the excitement of loving someone, loving yourself, discovering new passions and hobbies, sharing vulnerabilities, and so much more. I am so proud of myself this year; I’m always proud of myself. But, for being more confident and dating more in the city. Although they both were temporary escapades, I enjoyed learning more about myself and others, what I prefer and don’t prefer, my likes and dislikes, what I’m looking for, and so much more. After my last date in June, I have been living a single and happy life.
Sometimes, with love and discovering yourself, you can fall for someone quicker than expected, and your emotions can take over. This guy, who I completely didn’t know, appeared in my life one day, and he immediately made me feel all of the emotions! He left me speechless; he made me nervous. Dare I say shy a little? But he also made me feel excellent and seen; honestly, I enjoyed getting to know him in various ways. This guy was someone I had told so many friends about; he was literally on my mind, and I couldn’t let him go. That was until I began to allow my views and judgment to get hazy, affecting my overall relationship with him. Of course, this guy was someone I was interested in physically and personally. He seemed aligned with me on multiple aspects, but he wasn’t meant to be. Yet, I couldn’t get this guy out of my system; every time I released him, he would reenter my thoughts one way or another; it was genuinely unhealthy. Ultimately, it was just best for me to release everything I once thought I knew about him and remove myself from any conversations surrounding him mentally. Sure, it was fun, but it just didn’t work out for me, and for the sake of my relationship with him, it couldn’t work out.
Even though it was short and sweet, he reignited something inside of me and encouraged me to love again and be more open to love appearing in the most random places. As I understand dating more, with healthier intentions and purpose, my perspective has changed for the better. I am more confident, aware, intentional, and excited for more in the future. I am not getting back on those dating apps because they’re trash, but I will be more open and receptive to love when I least expect it. Until then, I will continue to live and grow robust, abundant, confident, resilient, and graceful each day!
I may fall in love quickly, and the ending is not what I always expect. But I know my true love is coming for me, and God is preparing him now. He is sending him my way, and I will be ready for him with arms wide open. Until then, and when I do find him, I will continue being the best version of myself that I can be, growing, learning, practicing self-love and self-awareness, growing closer to the Lord, taking risks and chances, and harnessing my truest power!
Trust the timing of your life-
As I close this out, everyone, I want to remind you. Trust the timing of your life. Trust God, have him as your foundation and cornerstone, and do not be afraid to speak and grow closer to him. Reveal your heart, intentions, desires, fears, mistakes, and so much more. Grow steadily and persistently. Do not be in a rush or impatient, for that’s when you miss out on the goodness and beauty in everyday life. I know all things I seek answers desiring will come to me sooner than I expect, and I will run to them with arms wide open to accept and excel beyond my wildest dreams. Why waste time looking back when you can capitalize on the present and embrace your future now?
Trust God with your life. Trust his timing. You will make it, I promise!
-Morgan